The Feeling of Breaking Free From the Herd

There are so many things we should do. Other things we could do. And then there are the things we must do — if we want to find ourselves. It's hard to get away from should and could and must. Somewhere underneath all of them is what we actually want.

This goat understood that better than I did. She took her chance, slipped away from the herd, strolled into the garden, and found herself a delicious meal — in peace. No shepherd shouting. No dog barking. Just a quiet moment of pure happiness. A well-deserved one, I'd say. Living alongside a hundred other goats must be exhausting by the end of the day.

It made me wonder: how often do I break away from the shoulds and coulds and musts — the things I don't really want to do but feel I have to? Too rarely. Almost never, if I'm honest.

Because underneath the surface, the old patterns are still quietly running the show. The desire to please. The fear of disappointing someone. The constant, tiring effort to prove I'm enough. These habits followed me out of childhood and have shaped my life ever since. Consciously, I always knew they weren't doing me any good — but my subconscious had a louder, stronger voice, and it usually won.

Did it really take a stray goat breaking free from her herd to open my eyes? It looks that way. Watching her happiness, that peaceful little encounter with our dogs, made something click: if we truly follow our heart — and in my case, if I stop being so obsessed with all the things I should do — we can step into the moment that opens up in front of us. And find, even just for a while, a real sense of freedom. Every single day.